Of Hats and Deaths [Yato X Goddess!Reader]

Your legs were shaking, mind completely lost in a whirl of thoughts; most of them fighting between keep going on or just crumble on the grass completely exhausted. If depended only on the physical part you were sure you would have died hours ago considering how much blood you lost. However, everytime you felt like failing… His smile was enough to make your legs move, step by step, each inch closer to the warming feeling of being safe and sound at his arms. If you were strong, ignored the pain and kept going soon you would be able to talk to him once again.

You would see those blue eyes shining like they always were, and that smart and gorgeous one-sided smile with a malicious hint, given exclusively for you. Just a few more and… Just a few more and…

Suddenly, an impacted obliged you to notice your knees had faded and you felt cold, so cold… How long have you been crying? How long has passed since you fell in that grass? That blood painting everything around was yours? Why couldn’t get up?

“Please legs! I beg you!” You punched them like they could answer, like there was enough energy left to make them lift. Your tears were mixing with the rain and the desperate feeling was taking each piece of you. “Please, take me home…” You sobbed. “Once again, just one last time let me tell him… Let me say ‘I’m home’ and hear his answer…”

It was coming. The fatigue, completely silence, the relaxing and the blackness of death; you knew you wouldn’t get up again. You would die alone, drowning in your own blood, on that creep, dark and dirty woods. Alone. Alone, and without the chance of saying goodbye to any of your beloved ones. The fact of dying wasn’t that bad, you knew being a god had it’s perks and soon you would be reborn.

Nevertheless, forget everything that happened on those last 300 years make your heart clench. Forget about him in a blink of an eye was terrifying. Everything you learned, were, created, discovered, felt and treasured would be gone. The intense string you had with each one you have ever met and helped would be broken. The more intense one, the one you had with him, would be gone too.

“Yato… I have to go. I’m sorry… But, please, don’t forget me.” You said to the sky, begging him to hear your broken voice, imploring those memories to do not fade. You tried to get up one last time, only to spill more blood and feel more pain; an ultimate for your state.

Now it was as if you were floating in the bottom of a deep and dark ocean, a comforting sensation spreading. But it was so lonely, so lonely you wished it ended soon. Being there, stuck on the emptiness allowed your thoughts to digress between good and bad memories about him. That was unbelievable much more painful than being in the rain, feeling cold and bleeding.

“If I just let it go, will it end?” You couldn’t tell if you stayed there thinking for hours, days or a few seconds. You only wished to fade, to never feel anything again. “I’m sorry…”

“I’m so sorry…”


“Don’t go!” No! He should not be here. You had accepted, you were going to die and give upon any kinds of hope! “Don’t ask me to go back! Don’t show me light when I’m so distant from it!”

“Don’t leave me alone [Name]!” Unconsciously your hand was moving the light, while a warm feeling involved all your skin, something so good, so calm and… nostalgic. It made you cry once again. It was like feeling home. You opened your eyes only to greet his saddened blue orbs, so clouded with mixed emotions; your hands intertwined with his and close to his lips.

“I’m so happy you’re here Yato.” Voice shaking, weak and full of gratitude. Who would say that you, goodness of peace, would be in a situation such as this? Maybe it was a punishment for loving the god of calamity. For loving him so much, for so long, so deeply.

“I’m selfish for it, asking for you to watch me die.” You felt tears in your cheeks, but you couldn’t tell if they were yours, Yato’s or from the sky.

“I’ll be with you forever. I’ll make you remember every second we spent together! It doesn’t matter if it costs me another 300 years to do it. You’ll follow in love with me again. I promise!”

“I’m always stubborn. It’ll be really hard, you know that?”

“It always is.” He gave you a sad smile. “But it’s always worth it. I’m really happy thought, because this time we were able to be so long together.”

“S-Someday…” You didn’t want to go, to fade. You would just come back as a child, but would be completely unaware of your previous death, incapable of recognizing him and everything he meant; all memories you loved so much lost. They would go, disappear like they never existed.  “I believe we will remember it all. Until them, I know our string will be enough.” You smiled and breathed heavily.

“Yato. Will you… take care of me once again?”

“Until my last breath.” Yato felt the strength of your hand fading and he tried to hold tighter. If only he could save you… However, like everytime, he was useless. In addition, it hurted him even more knowing your death was indirectly his fault. As people grown hate, he became stronger and you weaker. You never failed to amaze him showing mercy and always hoping for the best.

“When it happens… I’ll be the one to take care of you.” You reached, caressed his cheeks and smiled so softly it seemed those days when you two sat together next to the lake and pretended to forget the rest of the world. How he wished they came back. “Thank you so much for everything…”

“I’ll miss you, [Name].”

“Me too. But don’t worry Yato.” Eyes closing, pain gone once again. This time not even his voice would be enough to bring you back. “I will always go home… To you.”

“I know.” The rain finally stopped, but the steamy clouds were still there; just like the terrible feeling of emptiness consuming his chest. “I’ll wait again, and again, and again. Forever and ever, if I have to. Until I’m able to say ‘Welcome back’.”


Extended Ending

“But why do the fish swim?” You asked while looking at a golden creature like it was the most important thing in the world. Tiny hands focused on touching the water of the lake.

“Because he likes it. Like eagles like to fly, frogs like to jump, dogs like to bark and you like to eat. It’s the way they live.”

“They must like it a lot to swim then… Because I love eating!” You laughed so full of life that Yato had to follow it, although it was still sad to him to see your childish features and body, everytime remembering what he had lost. Suddenly, you felt your straw-hat fall and screamed, afraid that it would fall in the water.

“Don’t worry [Name]-san” Hiyori said with a gentle smile. “Yato will catch it for you.” Yato ran for it and successfully caught, giving back to you, who remained with a sad face.

“Why are you blue? The hat is safe.”

“It’s strange. We don’t know each other much, but…” You pouted. “When you go far away from me, even for a few minutes… I feel bad! It’s that feeling you told me a few days ago… I miss you! I miss you a lot! Even though you’re just a few steps away…”

“I have a solution for it then.” Yato bowed and kissed your forehead, a little of hope trespassing his whole body. Maybe that feeling in your chest was a good indication. He had to believe it. Hiyori looked at both of you with a hint of sadness. “I’ll never leave you. Is it okay for you?”

Yato missed you, that gold hearted and strong goddess, so much. Nevertheless, the clever little girl in front of him was you too and that made his heart fill with joy. It was you, with different virtues; and he knew that he would be able to love you completely, each part of you, each reincarnation, each piece of your holy soul.

He could fill you with all the stories from your shared past and see your reactions; tell how amazing you have been for so long time, how amazing your old self was. Each time reborn stronger and more hopeful: the perfect goddess of peace.

It still hurt losing lots of years with a friend and a lover, but he considered a new chance to learn everything about you again. A way to love you again. A chance to start all over and make you fall in love with him.

You smiled softly, a warm and unexplainable feeling filling in your chest. You felt so good at his side, even though you barely remembered his name (and he had told you at least three times in the past 10 minutes). Eyes shining in the August sun, you hugged him and felt the hat flying again; this time you didn’t mind losing it if meant being at his side a little longer.

Maybe…

Forever was just wonderful for being at his side.

“It seems perfect to me.”